Etiquette

Your invitation sets the tone for your occasion. Does it scream “I can’t miss this party it sounds amazing!” or did you send out a letter with statistics that says “This party will be boring!”

Choosing your Invitations:

Your invitation should match the style of your event. Is it formal, semi-formal or a casual backyard get together. Your invitation provides the details of the celebration as well as what to expect at the party.

A casual get together? A corporate gala for 500? A surprise birthday party for your husband of 20 years? You already have a theme – the occasion for the party. Is is for a man or a woman, your company or a friend?

What are their hobbies or interests, what’s their favorite drink? Is it a summer pool party or a winter “we’re freezing but need a reason to party” kind of thing. You can use our site’s Search feature to help narrow down your search for the perfect invitation.

When to mail your Invitations:

Traditionally, it is advised to send out invitations eight weeks before your event. This is a good idea with formal events and weddings, it is just not possible with most every-day events.

Our customers tell us that they didn’t even think about having a party until 2-6 weeks before their event. Obviously, the sooner you can notify your guests, the better, but don’t let this stress you out or prevent you from getting fabulous invitations at the last minute.  Anything goes and much is possible these days.

If you know you’re having a party for an event that is several months away, consider sending a Save the Date card. This is simply a notice to your guest list that you are planning an event for that date and to mark their calendars so they’ll be ready when the details follow by invitation closer to the party date when the details have been finalized.  Save the Date cards are almost a necessity for events taking place on holiday weekends, events that will require out of state travel for guests or a wedding to ensure vacations are not scheduled for the same time.

When to send Save the Date cards:

They are generally sent at least 4-6 months prior to your wedding but, if you are planning a destination wedding, for example Hawaii it is strongly recommended that you send them 12 months in advance if not longer. For seasonally busy and tourist locales or on or around a holiday it is best to send them 9-12 months in advance. Your guests will then have ample time to make all the necessary arrangements needed to be a part of your special celebration and may even extend it into a vacation of their own.

What to include in your invitation:

  • Name of the host(s)/hostess(es) or parent(s) giving the party
  • The purpose of the invitation:  A birthday party, a wedding, a holiday open house.
  • Name of honoree (the birthday person, the mother-to-be, the bride and groom)
  • Day and Date of the party (Saturday, August 29th or if it is formal, Saturday, the twenty-ninth of August).  Look at your calendar to make sure the as in this example, the 29th of August is really on a Saturday.
  • If a formal event, include the year and spell it out (two thousand and four)
  • Time (6:00 p.m., or for formal events, spell out the time such as six o’clock in the evening)
  • Name of Place (The Brownstone)
  • Location of Place (street address, city and state if inviting out of town guests, but no zip code)
  • Appropriate attire if it is an issue with your party (do not use on formal invitations-the event should be the clue as to the appropriate attire).

Proof read several times for mistakes and/or forgotten information!  Even have a friend read it.

Wording your Invitation:

  • All phrasing is in the third person.
    • Example:  John and Sally announce the birth of their son…
  • Don’t use:  birth of our son
  • Do not use abbreviations.
    • Example:  Spell out words such as Road, Street, and state names; California
  • Days, dates are always spelled out
    • Example:  Monday or September
  • Times and Years should be spelled out on wedding or formal invitations
    • Example:  Four o’clock in the afternoon / Two Thousand Four
    • Hint: The “o” in “o’clock” is never capitalized
  • Punctuation is not used at the end of the lines.  (no commas, periods, colons., etc.)
    • Example:  John and Sally invite you to join the fun. (leave off the period)
  • Commas can be used to separate information that appears on the same line such as:
    • Example:  November 14, 2004 or Rochester, New York
  • It is socially incorrect to mention “no children allowed” or to mention gifts or where you are registered on invitations.

We have found that our customers follow these rules on strict formal invitations such
as black tie or wedding invitations, however, on informal invitations, anything goes and sometimes, the more information, the better.  When in doubt, you can inform your guests of any important details when they RSVP to the invitation.

Envelope Etiquette

Return Address:

Return addresses do NOT use an apostrophe on the proper name. This is the biggest mistake we see everyday. If you remember this one grammar rule, you will seem like a star and be light years ahead of your friends.

The Clarks is the plural tense meaning more than one person in the Clark family, so this is correct:

The Clarks
123 Walnut
Anywhere, USA 12345

The Clarks’ means possessive as in something that belongs to them, so this is correct use of the apostrophe in that instance:

The Clarks’ house – means plural possession – the house that belongs to the Clark family and there is more than one person in the Clark family.

Ms. Chang’s house – means singular possession – one person, Ms. Chang, owns the house.

Be sure to take the time to put your return address on your envelopes. If there is a problem with them, you want the post office to return them to you, not throw them away.

Addressing the Envelopes:

It is traditional to use a complete, formal name and address. Do not use any abbreviations except:

Mr., Mrs., Ms. Dr. or Jr.

Names should be completely spelled out such as:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Gene Smith instead of Mr. and Mrs. Ron Smith

If you know the full middle name, use it, if not, no not use initials, simply omit it.

First names (without Mr., Mrs., etc.) or the phrase “and family” are not proper.

If there are children under the age of eighteen include first names as:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Gene Smith
Ashley and Michael
123 Walnut
Anywhere, USA  12345

If children are living at the same address as their parents’ invitation is going to, they should receive separate invitations:

Adult daughter:  Miss Kathy Smith
Adult son:  Mr. Ron Smith
Adult sons or daughters at the same address:
Messrs. John and Keith Smith
Misses Marie and Joan Smith

Postage:

If there is any question about how much postage your announcement or invitation requires, take an assembled envelope to your post office and have them calculate the exact postage for you. Also ask to see their selection of “pretty” stamps.  Square items always require extra postage.